As part of their Lift the Lid on Mental Illness campaign initiatives, Australian Rotary Health (ARH) recently brought experts together to encourage parents and children to have difficult conversations for better futures. While there’s no quick solution to teen mental health issues and suicide, there are ways to be better prepared when difficult situations and emotions arise.

After we ask, “Are U OK?”, what do we say next? And how can our teenagers and children help each other? This was the pressing issue deliberated at last week’s round-table discussion on behalf of Australian Rotary Health.

The discussion was attended by, amongst others, child expert and author Maggie Dent; Dr Ron Rapee, Professor of Psychology and founder of Cool Kids; Dr Claire Kelly, whose Teen Mental Health First Aid (tMHFA) program has been lauded by pop star Lady Gaga, and whose work focuses on minimising the impact that mental health problems can have on development and educational outcomes; and Dr Kylie King, Senior Research Fellow at the Turner Institute for Brain and Mental Health at Monash University.

Moderated and led by journalist and unofficial teen godmother Rebecca Sparrow, the round table discussion covered the pressing subject of teen depression, mental health and suicide, particularly in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic.

According to 2019 statistics, one in seven teenagers experienced mental health disorders in the previous 12 months (around 591,000 teens). These mental health disorders encapsulate Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), anxiety disorders, major depressive disorder and conduct disorder. Almost one third of 4-17 year-olds with a disorder experience two or more mental disorders at the same time.

Together, the collection of experts pooled their ideas and experiences as a shared collaboration of advice for parents of teens.

Maggie Dent: Make the small moments count - “Micro-moments with our kids can be just as valuable as extended one-on-one time. Building ‘love bridges’ whereby you connect with your child in small ways, doesn’t take a lot of time, but has long-reaching effects. If your child is upset yet doesn’t want to talk to you about it, approach them from another angle. Make them a cup of hot chocolate and serve it with their favourite biscuit; ruffle their hair; touch them on their arm; even jokingly sit on them when they’re on the sofa. These are all ways to communicate your availability and love to your teen. A little does a lot.”

Maggie Dent: Form a circle - “The tribe around our boys is just as important as our parenting. Our children’s ‘collective’ is so important so that boys, and girls, have someone to talk to. So that they feel that they matter. This circle is your child’s safe circle where they can ask for advice, share their emotions, and know that there is a place where they’ll be accepted, no matter what.”

Maggie Dent: Find an outlet - “Our small community has been rocked by recent suicides. To encourage people to talk about mental health and focus on the positive, we’ve formed sewing circles for children to sit together, and sew or make masks to wear outside. We’ve also painted the town yellow, hung yellow ribbons and streamers throughout the town. These are all ways to cheer up everyone, but a visual reminder to encourage the discussion of any mental health problems with others.”

Professor Ron Rapee: Some anxiety is good - “Anxiety is a normal and critically important emotion that we all experience, and its function is to protect us from danger. In fact, it’s anxiety which is helping us to protect ourselves and each other during the pandemic: from wearing masks to washing hands properly. For our teenagers, who have had to deal with many disappointments this year (lack of a school formal, less time with peers), it’s important to remind them how well they’ve coped through this unprecedented crisis. It can be a mark to measure their future selves against, to remind themselves just how well they coped.”

Dr Claire Kelly: Continue the conversation - “If someone tells you that they’re hurting, or depressed, or having suicidal thoughts, you don’t need to bear their problems alone. If someone is telling you they feel this way, it’s because they want something to change. Teenagers may share their emotions with a friend over social media rather than face-to-face because it’s easier for them. It’s important to explain to teens that they don’t need to keep another person’s mental health issues a secret.”

Dr Claire Kelly: Encourage your child’s schools to invest in Teen Mental Health Aid - “Students who receive teen mental health first aid are nine times more likely to ask a friend about suicidal thoughts in a supportive way. That’s a strategy we know from research is highly likely to prevent suicide. One in seven young people experience a mental health condition in any given year, and about one in 40 attempt suicide. Suicide is the most common cause of death in young people. We are in a crisis in mental health. Teen Mental Health Aid is a program that can save lives.”

Dr Kylie King: Use lockdown to take stock - “Despite the stress and pressures of the Covid-19 pandemic and the resulting lockdown, loss of income, home-schooling and other stresses, we haven’t seen a rise in suicides this year. While we don’t know why this is, we are still keeping our eye on possible surges. However, the fact remains that we are spending more time at home, with less outside pressures and we’re spending more time together as a family. This may be a good time to stop and reassess the daily demands your family is under, so that when we return to ‘normal’, our ‘new normal’ is much less pressurised.”

Dr Claire Kelly: Use social media for good - “If there is an outlet which a child uses to share their mental health issues, and there’s someone listening at the other end… that can only be a good thing. Programme your child’s phone with some mental health service phone numbers, so that they’ll always have someone to talk to.”

Research is critical to getting these programs off the ground and during October’s Mental Health Awareness Month, QBD Books and some of their leading publishers have come together in support to raise vital funds for mental health research projects by Australian Rotary Health.

This month when you purchase from a nominated list of book titles at QBD Books in store and online they will donate $2 to LIFT the LID on Mental Illness. This complements the national program they launched earlier in the year and recently extended into 2021 due to COVID impacts to LIFT the LID on Mental Illness in Schools, where schools are encouraged to register to get involved and host the campaign during the year.

Every child’s $2 donation will receive a $2 voucher to redeem on selected books at QBD. Reading has been such a valuable escape during COVID and the benefits of reading to manage anxiety and stress are widely documented. These are more simple, positive approaches we can encourage our children to take every day to make them feel good.

Important emergency numbers for you and your child:

Lifeline: Anyone having a personal crisis 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au

Beyond Blue: Anyone feeling anxious or depressed 1300 22 46 36 or via beyondblue.org.au

Mensline Australia: Men with emotional concerns 1300 789 978 or via mensline.org.au

Suicide Call Back Service: Anyone thinking about suicide 1300 659 467 or via suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Kids Helpline: Counselling for people aged 5-25 1800 551 800 or via kidshelpline.com.au

Open Arms: Veterans and families counselling 1800 011 046 or via openarms.gov.au

In an emergency, call 000.

For more information visit https://australianrotaryhealth.org.au/